When it comes to moms, I think there are two categories of things that we do well. The first category is everything.
Yup, I said it, we do everything well! It may not always be perfect, but we do everything to the best of our ability and we put effort into the things that we do.
Even when we don’t know how to do something, we still try. We seek out resources and tools to help us when we’re not fully in the know.
We know how to balance households, babies and checkbooks in one quick swoop.
On the other side of the spectrum, the thing we have also mastered, is the ability to make ourselves feel like we’re never doing enough.
Quite interesting contrasts if you think about it. How can we be good at everything but still manage to convince ourselves that we are good at nothing?
This is where mom guilt steps in to rear it’s ugly head.
What Exactly Is Mom Guilt
Mom guilt stems from a feeling that you are not doing enough when it comes to taking care of your new baby or your young children. If they get sick, you blame yourself.
You ask yourself questions like: What did I not do? What could I have done to prevent them from getting sick?
A major part of mom guilt is overcompensation. We as moms are always trying to overcompensate.
With all the 50 billion things we do well, we still manage to convince ourselves that the 1 thing we did not do adequately will cause the sky to fall.
Another characteristic of mom guilt is the judgement we place on ourselves. We judge ourselves hard because, in our minds we have set up a yardstick of what perfection is.
When we cannot fully reach this level of perfection we feel guilty, as if we have fallen short or failed our children.
We often use social media as a measure of perfection. If one person is able to do it all and look a particular way, then I too must be able to do it all and look that way as well.
Mom guilt causes us to forget reality and common sense. We do not see or think about the behind the scenes of what true “perfection” may entail.
How did the person WE THINK is perfect, get there?
How to Stamp Out Mom Guilt For Good
Part of stamping out mom guilt is a proper understanding and evaluation of your life.
Are you doing the BEST you can under the circumstances for your children?
Are you using your resources to work smart instead of hard to create the life you want for those around you?
If you answered yes to both of these questions, then you are on your well on your way to stamping out all the guilt you may feel.
You are One Person
Understand that you are only one person. You cannot do it all. You may try to. But you cannot. Do the best that you can.
Work smart towards making your children happy and the rest will follow.
Employ help when needed, and prioritize your tasks. Everything is not important. Some things can wait.
Do not compare yourself to others or try to factor in the things you have not done.
Think today, of all the things you have done well.
Stamp out mom guilt forever with these words:
My child is happy. My child is loved. I am a GREAT mother.
What are your thoughts on mom guilt? What has been your personal experience?
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